“Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.”

I couldn’t have said it better myself. That phrase comes from the good(?) folks at Despair Inc., specifically the de-motivational print for Procrastination.

I reference it only because I created this blog on Dec 22, 2006, and it’s been weeks between then and this, the initial post.

Why did I procrastinate? Part of the reason was that I wanted to take some time on my first post and not just put up something meaningless. Another part was that I didn’t really know what I wanted to use this blog for.

I actually created the blog accidentally when attempting to upgrade from “old” Blogger to “new” Blogger. (If any moderators are lurking, let me tell you that from the standpoint of someone who’s career it is to write and present instructional material, your instructions for accomplishing this were not user friendly.) Believing that I was simply updating my user information, I suddenly found myself in unfamiliar territory being asked to create a name for my blog.
I had wanted to create a blog for some time now, so I decided not to abort the process and just went on with it, thinking that if I created it, I would then use it. Sort of a virtual kick in the pants. Hence, “Giant Monsters & Impossible Machines”.

Why the title? What does it mean? It’s actually an idea I had (in truth, a couple of ideas) some months ago while having lunch at The Silver Diner across the street from Potomac Mills Outlets. I was in the area to provide training support for the project I’m working on for Northrop Grumman (a humongous medical documentation tool created for the DoD called AHLTA—no, it doesn’t stand for anything, that’s the name, one word, all caps). So there I was, sitting in my booth, making headway into my bacon cheeseburger platter and chocolate milkshake (a guilty pleasure combination I allow myself every now and then), pretty bored since I was eating alone. As I sat there, I started thinking about how life can be like that sometimes (not like a bacon cheeseburger and chocolate milkshake, just boring) and that life would be a whole lot more interesting if there were more giant monsters around.

You see, as long as I can remember, I’ve been a fan of monsters. It probably started with the Japanese monster movies that our local New York channels would run on late Saturday mornings after the cartoons ended, or that played on ABC’s (NY Channel 7) now defunct 4:30 Movie program during their occasional “Monster Week”. Godzilla was always my favorite, but Mothra and Rodan were nothing to shake a stick at. But I digress.

Wouldn’t it be interesting, I thought, if suddenly giant monsters started appearing randomly around the world, and we as a species would have to deal with them and the inevitable chaos and destruction that would ensue? I’m not saying this would be safe, or even fun. I just thought that it would definitely make things a little more, well, interesting. As in that old Chinese curse, “May you live in interesting times.” (Think about it.)

So I grabbed my binder and began what I hope will eventually turn into a decent short story. Here’s the first sentence and a half. It’s all I have written so far, but it’s a start.

“It was Tuesday morning at 10:49 when the first giant monster appeared. Measuring 53 feet from head to tail, weighing in at over 70 tons, it burrowed up from the ground below…”

That’s it. I got stuck on exactly where in the world I wanted the giant monster to make its first appearance, and by the fact that my burger was getting cold, and that I needed to meet with the nurses in the clinic across the street in about 15 minutes.

However, I did have a title: Giant Monsters & Impossible Machines.

I don’t know yet what the machine part will be, or even if the machines will make it into this particular story. As I wrote the words down I thought that, rather than a story, that would make a great title for a collection of stories. (I’m thinking long-term.)

Anyway, I’ve finally decided to create the first post you’re reading.

It’s crossed my mind that, although I hadn’t given the blog’s web address to anyone (and probably won’t until I have a couple posts under my belt), someone could still find the blog, either accidentally, or by somehow deciding to search Blogger for the particular string of words in the title. If that happened, I imagine it could be a surreal experience for someone to load an essentially blank, dark page into their browser. Just a title bar, the name of the blogger, not much else. I can imagine someone being intrigued, maybe checking every now and then for something to appear, and then suddenly, weeks later a lengthy entry manifests itself, ex nihilo, on the page. A “Little Bang” in cyberspace. Maybe it’ll be worth a read, maybe it won’t.

But back to topic, what’s the blog about? I envision a couple things. First, it’ll be a journal of sorts. I’m not delusional enough to believe that my life is all that interesting (it’s not), but I think I’ll have reason to document the occasional event or humorous anecdote. Second, I’m going to use it to document some random thoughts that have been distilling in my head for some time that I don’t want to see die a slow death as they fade into distant memory. Third, I’m going to use this to finally write some short fiction on the installment plan. (I will revise my work whenever I see fit, so if you decide to follow anything, be prepared for sudden changes.) Fourth, maybe every once in a while I’ll give you my opinion of something that I think is important. I’ve never wanted to be a critic, but if I see an opening for a humorous comment on our world, I’m going to go for it. I will try to be even-handed and not stoop to obvious or mean-spirited criticism.

I think that’s enough to get started. Feel free to stick around for the ride. I’ll try to make this entertaining, but I won’t be offended if you decide it’s not for you. Feel free to comment, but all I ask is that you refrain from commenting on anything not relevant to what I post.

See you again soon.